belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
