No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How external is "for external use only"?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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