no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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