how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
