Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
foreskin is a definite game changer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
