So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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