I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize