You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
