he puts the penis in happiness.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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