She's JV to your varsity
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize