couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
