Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
