1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
