Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
