So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
