Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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