We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
