My cat gives me a boner
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
