he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i think i just lost a toe
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize