Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
