was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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