Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
