I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
