Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize