I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize