Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize