You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
