So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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