What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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