Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
