last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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