she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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