She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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