Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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