Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize