I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
