Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
