i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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