I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
