Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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