Your face is a jimmy john
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
