Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize