Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
