Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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