so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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