He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
