like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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