I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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