There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
