so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
