i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
