we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize