Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
