We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
