At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
