i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I could fuck to npr.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Randomize
