I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
