The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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