I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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