puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The chlamydia really affected his face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
