butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
