Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Farmville is her only friend.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
