So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
