you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
