Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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