I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
