what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Boobs are out for the taking
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize