hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
