sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
