I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
