upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
